Straw hats & bronze kids in Ogden, Utah

We left our hotel in Washington and headed southeast. That day took us thru 4 states: Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Utah. Sections of the road in Washington looked out of place between the mountains, as if the untouched natural beauty just happened to have 4 lanes of concrete fall into the middle of it; The biggest mistake of my trip so far occurred when we stopped for gas in Oregon; Large patches of Idaho inexplicably smelled like onions (see the prior post for video of my thoughts); and Utah held mountains, Mormons and merriment.

(Like New Jersey, it’s trouble-making friend to the east, Oregon won’t allow you to pump your own gas. So after pulling in to the station, I waited patiently for the attendant who informed me that I’d have to pay inside. I walked inside to behold the garden of oddities that this offbeat paradise had to offer. Ceramic horse statues and eagle posters flanked me on all sides… and then I saw it, “Straw Cowboy Hats 2 for $10.” I rejoiced silently that I was in car with 2 people, both of whom lacked a straw, gas-station cowboy hat. I went outside to tell Lindsay. “I’m gonna go in to the bathroom,” she said. Before I could stop her, my phone rang and I began to search for what crevice it had fallen into. I immediately told my friend on the other line about the hats. “You can buy those anywhere for $5,” he said. Deflated and too lazy to go back inside, I left that station empty-hat-ed. Worst mistake of the trip.)

We arrived at our destination in Ogden, Utah where Laura, our gracious host immediately filled us with spaghetti, garlic bread and beer. My bottle was half empty by the time I glanced at the label. Polygamy Porter. “Why have Just One!” My opinion of Utah immediately skyrocketed.

Laura tells us what she does for the Air Force and gets judgmental on some bombs… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPQWR_riDes

In the morning, I opened my eyes and saw colorful, plastic farm animals by my feet. Had I drank that much? It didn’t take long for me to remember that I was not in my own home and that I was sleeping on the floor of a child’s bedroom in Utah. (Laura’s son was not home that evening.) Laura had taken off early that morning to go camping and was nice enough to leave us a stamped envelope and directions to mail back her key at the post office down the street. Although we had a lengthy drive ahead of us, the excursion gave us reason to explore a little of Ogden City’s downtown area. It had cute restaurants, artsy stores and a collection of painted horses sprinkled throughout. We were remarking to each other how nice the area was when Lindsay said, “What was that? Is that bronzed…” I looked over to see a bronze statue of a little girl. “Huh, that’s random,” I said. “She looks like the girl from ‘The Ring’,” Lindsay muttered, her lip curled in disgust. As we kept driving, more and more bronze children statues popped up. There seemed to be no method to their placement and she was right, they were creepy. “Is that one on stilts?” I yelled, pointing to a little bronze boy. That was it. I’m sure there is some reason to have creepy, bronze children’s statues in your town but there is nothing that could make me believe it’s ever necessary to bronze a boy walking towards you creepily on stilts.

On our way out of town, we pulled over so I could take a picture next to one of the more odd-looking painted horses. As I stood next to it, I leaned over and felt movement. Apparently the horses are not bolted down. Luckily, Lindsay was ready with the camera and captured my surprise as I grabbed for the falling colt.

And no, we did not get any pictures of the scary bronze statues. But to be fair, I doubt they would have showed up on film anyway.

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Straw hats & bronze kids in Ogden, Utah

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